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Better off than Herculaneum.

We all know of poor, doomed Pompeii from our schooldays, the Roman city on the receiving end of a Mount Vesuvius eruption; an eruption which ended up releasing thermal energy a hundred thousand times more powerful than that of the Hiroshima bombing. Poor, doomed Pompeii, home to the beautiful Villa of the Mysteries and such pearls of wisdom scrawled upon its walls as … Continue reading

  • Whether or not you write well, write bravely. - Bill Stout. Welcome to The Cosmic Pineapple, friends. The Cosmic Pineapple is our special place, that sacred space where we write about all the fun stuff that we like, be it hip American TV comedies, M. John Harrison novels or the latest Diplo remix. We also venture our thoughts on the everything from philosophy to futurism, as well as our misadventures out there in the real world (so expect uncomfortable honesty and gratuitous swearing). We also try to come across as cool, dark and edgy; if only to trick people into thinking our real lives are a little more interesting than they actually are. Also new on the Cosmic Pineapple scene is Do Androids Dream Of Eclectic Beats?, a website fully devoted to our rugged pursuit of the very best in music. It's early days but its perhaps worth a look. Anyway... Here, from left to right, are Antipodean Dave and Epic Joe. They write stuff for The Cosmic Pineapple. Epic Joe lives in a city in England named Coventry. It's famous for Lady GodivaThe Specials and being bombed to the ground during World War 2. Epic Joe is an aspiring writer and photographer, his favorite author is Kurt Vonnegut and he enjoys sunshine (ironic, considering he lives in the wettest country on the planet), weird music and floods of alcohol. He has longish hair and a longish nose. Some people say he looks a little like Richard Ashcroft, Mika and 'that cunt from Razorlight'. Yeah, well, the ladies love it. Antipodean Dave is originally from Coventry but did the intelligent thing, got the hell out of dodge and is now living in Sydney, Australia with his wonderful wife. Antipodean Dave is a bit of a hipster,  the biggest U2 fan on the planet, a massive film buff and can scream, like, really loud and shit. Some people think he looks like Finch from the American Pie movies. He hates that. This post is here both as proof that we are actually still around. people, and that updates are actually coming, and as a big hello! to all our new followers. We'll be back soon. Peace and love, friends.
  • So. It's been pretty quiet around here lately, don't you think; after a dozen half-promises claiming that would no longer be the case. And I'm sure you're wondering, "What's his fucking excuse this time?" I'm working on a new novel. eeep. I begin work on a new novel every couple of months or so. You can almost put it down to the exact fucking second. An idea will flare up from the ether, or a character or a sentence, and it'll consume me, my every waking thought, and it will all go so very fucking well until I hit some crisis of confidence, or find myself in some creative cul-de-sac, and all that hard work will grind to a horrible, shuddering halt and another few hundred pages will end up consigned to a folder named Unfinished Novel Graveyard. It really is as depressing as it sounds: But right now? The going is good, my friends, by fuck, I might even go as far as to say the going is great. I can't even begin to describe the feeling to you, the feeling you get when all the words that you think up in your brain appear, as if by magic, on the screen before you exactly as you had imagined them, and you didn't have to swap, cheat or compromise to get them there. Warren Ellis explains it brilliantly, ...for that brief moment where it’s all flaring and welding together, you are Holy. You can’t be touched. Something impossible and brilliant has happened and suddenly you understand what it would be like if Einstein’s brain was placed into the body of a young tyrannosaur, stuffed full of amphetamines and suffused with Sex Radiation. Yes. The feeling is that good. And it's also fucking terrifying. That magic won't last, can't last, and whatever it is your tapped into will eventually just burn away and all you'll be left with will be the dying embers. So, until that happens, I'll be chasing that magic. I'll be back soon. Be good.
  • Greetings, Pineapple fans. Yes, you three. How are you? I As you may already be aware, The Cosmic Pineapple has a sister site named, and you'll never have guessed this, The Cosmic Pineapple's Tumblr, which can be found by clicking here. Groovy, no? Let's say, if you wanted to see more of this, and this, I have this disease late at night sometimes, involving alcohol and the telephone. - Kurt Vonnegut. then you should go hit up the Tumblr. You can, of course, also check out my photography at our Flickr on the left of the screen there or by clicking here. I also post the occasional quote on my Twitter; which, again, you can find either on the left of the screen or by clicking here. And, fuck it, while I'm here I may as well pimp out the Facebook page which can be found either on the right of the screen or here. Good. In other news, I'll looking at updating with more regularity from here on in, with all the old classics like The Wicked And The Weird and Operation Kino as well as some brand new stuff which may or may not include some live (drunken) updates from the V Festival in a few weeks! I also plan on tracking down Antipodean Dave, who last time we spoke, was being all hipster in Chicago. As you do. Hopefully he'll be gracing us with his presence again soon. Keep rocking the free world, kids.
  • I'm back. It's been a manic couple of weeks and, God-fucking-dammit, I'm so, so tired. It's been fun but I just need a break. Rehab? Seriously looking like a grand idea right now. Or perhaps, finally, I could fulfill my dream and run away to Cuba and work in a quiet little bar somewhere, sleep away the day, swim in an ocean of booze and easy women all night. "Who is that handsome and mysterious stranger?" they'll ask, as I sit away in a shadowy corner, nursing a rum. You'll never know. But, as tired and rundown as I may be, it's all been worth it. A couple of other writing projects I'm working on are going pretty well, with plenty planned for the rest of the year and the wedding day of two of my favourite people, Craig and Ria, finally arrived. And, as someone who usually recoils from the very thought of marriage, it was a truly magnificent day. We need more days like that, where life seems a little magical and I get a chance to wear my suit. Anyway, I'll attempt to resume normal service over the coming weeks but I'd just thought I'd bring The Cosmic Pineapple's Tumblr to your attention in the meantime, as described here, A random assortment of the music we’re digging, photography, cool short films, movie clips and animation discovered across the world-wide web, pretty pictures, news and views from the worlds of science to politics, spirituality to counterculture and a whole heap of general weirdness. Over the past week it's hosted the likes of this amazing documentary from Vice, http://youtu.be/ZRuSS0iiFyo this incredible mash-up from Dzeko and Torres, http://soundcloud.com/dzekoandtorres/hold-me-one-more-time-at the odd photo I find, and the stranger news stories from across the web, Two-Thirds of Americans Think Barack Obama Is Better Suited to Handle an Alien Invasion Than Mitt Romney. It's all good. Normal service will resume shortly x Also be sure to check out Vice.com for more videos like the one featured in this article. You'll love it.
  • I struggle to get any work done at the best of times. An old school teacher apparently wrote in my report that if I'd shown as much interest in my studies as I did the pigeons going about their day in the playground I'd be an A* student. My mind has a tendency to flicker from one thing to another with alarming regularity. I mean, I don't A.D.D, when something finally captures my imagination I will be fully immersed. But I seem to be cursed with the tendency to forever attempt to do one hundred things at once. With The Cosmic Pineapple receiving some much-needed attention at the moment the work on my novel and my short stories, my varied attempts at photography, they seem to sit together, howling and wailing, waiting for their turn in the sun. When you throw in the distractions of the current UEFA European Football Championship (two international football matches a day!), with its resulting dream teams and sweepstakes, or every time a friend comes calling ("Pub?", how can I say no?), as well as my actual 9-5 job (or, to be more factually accurate, 7.30-4.30), and the forever growing pile of books and DVD's to work my way through, well, keeping those plates spinning can be pretty hectic. Not that I'm moaning. I love writing, and I'm enjoying my work here on The Cosmic Pineapple more than I have since I started the thing all those months ago. I like being busy. We know what they say about idle hands. Anyway, to get to something resembling a point; to add to my spinning plates, I've begun to, for the lack of a better phrase, 'clean up' some older posts that I felt were perhaps lacking. Add a bit here, remove a bit there. Some just take a quick polish, some are beautiful as they are. A lot of posts now also come with added features; pictures, videos, music and the like. It's a work in progress, I hope you'll take a look around and maybe catch something you may have missed before or see something in a new light.Think of me as George Lucas, presenting special editions of my old posts, y'know, without the ruining your childhood bit. That I'll save for another day. Thank you again for the continued support, I'm on something approaching a roll at the moment and I hope you'll continue to join me and the rest of The Cosmic Pineapple crew as we venture further into the blogging world. There is plenty of good stuff to come. And please, if you like what you see, spread the word. Tell friends, family, acquaintances, anyone. The more, the merrier. You can also become a fan of The Cosmic Pineapple here on our Facebook page and follow us on Twitter here. Big love.
  • Greetings! A few things... Well, first up I'd like to thank you all for your continued support for The Cosmic Pineapple. Every like, comment and re-tweet really mean's a lot. As I've mentioned before a couple of times here on the site I have a somewhat... severe lack of confidence when it comes to my writing at times and the fact that there are at least a few of you interested in what I have to say and share is pretty mind-blowing. Numbers have dropped off a little since I began but seeing that I've kept a core audience is heartwarming. So, again with feeling, thank you all so much. And I'm sure if I spread that love a little ill manage to expand that audience. There are plenty of other great blogs out there that I should check out a lot more than I do. I'd also like to explain the direction the blog seems to have taken the past month or so. You might have noticed that there has been a substantial drop off in content. The problem being, I just don't seem to have any time at the moment. At all. Last year was pretty horrible. In the tail end of a rough break up, I was hit with a spate of bereavements within my family and amongst the families of some my closest friends. It was a pretty bleak period. Then, in late September, I managed to tear a muscle in my back in half and, in what was a difficult and turbulent time, my health took somewhat of a back seat and, as a result of the sudden lack of ability to walk anywhere and some periods of heavy drinking I put on a few pounds and my self-esteem went down the proverbial pan. Now, don't get me wrong, I had some amazing times last year. A weekend away next to the sea during the UK's brief two-week summer, a day at the football with the lads in Liverpool, Arcade Fire in Hyde Park, the previously mentioned adventures at the V Festival as well as a host of BBQ's, parties and nights out... but this isn't the point. I'd found myself at the dawn of 2012 in a place I didn't want to be. The first step to recovery was finally starting this blog. Having written in secret for who knows how long I was ready, scratch that, needed an audience. Otherwise what was the point? Anyway, as I said earlier, I was blown away by the reception The Cosmic Pineapple received. PEOPLE READ IT. AND, at least from what I could gather, LIKED IT. It felt amazing. But I still wasn't happy in my self. I've never been the biggest guy and, in all honestly, I wasn't during even the worst of it, but I decided that enough was enough and I decided the last month to kick-start my health kick. No more eating crap, lay off the beers and start exercising. The novel has been eating up a lot of my time as well but more on that another time. Factor in that two of my oldest friends have decided to get married this year (to separate people, I hasten to add) has resulted in a barrage of stags, parties and actual weddings, all of which eats up time. Good times but still... I never realised how difficult finding a hotel in Liverpool for the weekend for thirteen lads could possibly be. You add in the numerous gigs I've attended and will attend and hanging with my peeps ... well, its eaten up my time and the site has taken an unfortunate back seat of late. This is something I plan to rectify. I'm already working on a number of things, I'm sure Antipodean Dave has something up his sleeve for us to all enjoy and we may have a new face joining us in the next few weeks. So please, bear with us... Anyway, while we're here, is there anything you want to see more or less off on the site? Likes and dislikes? Please, don't hesitate to send an email or contact me through Twitter or the Facebook page (and while you're at it, follow me and click that like button. I'll love you forever). And, at the risk of sounding like I'm begging, if you like what I'm doing here then introduce me to your friends. The more the merrier! Thanks again.
  • Hi. First up, as you may have noticed, we were joined yesterday by the rather wonderful Mr. Antipodean Dave. I love that man like a goddamn brother and I hope you love him to. He'll be joining us whenever he feels like, which, if I have anything to say about it, will be all the time. And at the risk of sounding like a broken record I need to apologise for again neglecting The Cosmic Pineapple.This is something I'm trying to correct but unfortunately my life the past few weeks has been a heady mixture of alcohol induced blur, furious writing of the novel, enjoying the miraculous good weather and, y'know, my actual job but as of tomorrow I'll be aiming for more frequent updates. And the long promised short story will hopefully be making its appearance in April. Hold me to this.
  • And... I'm back. Hi there! Hows things? Really? That's great. I've neglected The Cosmic Pineapple this week and for that I'm sorry but life has managed to throw a whole manner of obstacles in my way so this is the first chance I've had update since... whenever it was I last updated. And I'm going to keep this brief. My heading is pounding and I'm afraid I'm no Bukowski, I can't write drunk or hungover unless it's a self-deprecating Facebook status (which are almost always hilarious and cutting by the way). One of the many reasons I've been AWOL from the old blog is the single biggest reason I started the thing in the first place: I'm back knee-deep in the novel. It's requiring a lot more research then I had ever planned (when they said you should write what you know I must have been in the bathroom...) which has ended up eating up quite a lot of time but I'm enjoying it more than I ever have. When I started it I never would have thought I'd have ended up reading up on the Mediterranean theatre of World War Two, Greek Gods, my hometown of Coventry, mental illness and modern-day police procedures but I'm sure that these things happen. I hope to have my first short story up very soon, which is a sort of prequel to the above mentioned novel. It's about two men meeting in an ancient temple. I like to keep things cryptic. Anyway, I'll be back updating at regular intervals very soon. Be ready.
  • Just a quick one tonight. I'm in some serious need of some sleep, I got about three hours last night and experienced another of my seriously weird reoccurring dreams about a haunted wishing well. I just wish I knew what the fuck my subconscious is trying to tell me. A haunted wishing well. First up I'd like to thank everyone who's taken time out to check out The Cosmic Pineapple, especially the lovely, lovely people who liked that very first link on my Facebook all those days ago, Gaz for re-tweeting said link on Twitter (he has more followers than me) and the SoshITech.Com blog for liking the blog I wrote hating on blogs. You guys are great. I appreciate the support during this blog's first baby steps, it may stumble around, cry endlessly and mess itself occasionally (METAPHOR OVERBOARD!) but I hope it'll grow into something cool. I'm working on a couple of things which will be coming up shortly, including a soon to be regular (yet to be titled) feature about my favorite songs/TV shows/films of the moment and, with V Festival tickets brought and some exciting gigs coming up soon, a collection of my own personal horror stories from past gigs and festivals. I hope to have my first short story online in the next couple of weeks as well. I hope you enjoy. If anyone has any feedback, (positive) criticism or ideas for future posts then you can either e-mail me on personaljesus1983@yahoo.co.uk, Facebook me, tweet me, leave me a message on our Tumblr account (a link can be found in Other Stuff above) or leave a comment below. I'm going to try to update this thing at least three or four times a week; or more if I'm feeling inspired and also looking into introducing a couple of other people who might wish to contribute. Thank you and good night.

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